Are you saying that women aren't wide open for abuse now? It's fine if you are, it's just very different from everything I hear from women who write on the internet. I don't tend to hear it from my community, which ironically lives in a patriarchy. So you can see where this is confusing from my vantage point: all the women still living under patriarchy are happy, healthy and thriving, and the women who are liberated from the patriarchy are complaining about getting used and abused by men.

I'm fully willing to admit my perspective might be off here. Maybe now that women are liberated and economically self sufficient and there are only superficial vestiges of gender roles remaining abuse really is mostly a thing of the past. Maybe the internet gives you a skewed perspective and 99.999999% of woman are crushing it in modern, liberated society but we think abuse is more common than it is because social media amplifies the victims

Of course, we could apply the same thing to the past. Both history and news are subject to the same biases as social media. "Man doesn't abuse wife" is not newsworthy and is not historically noteworthy. "Man rapes wife" is. So if we're willing to say that abuse today is nowhere near as common, what makes us so sure it was so rampant in the past when we have far less data?