Hi Pavane,

That's so encouraging to hear! I'm happy for you and your family. I understand that you have economic concerns for others, but if you could go back and have economic security with no children, or economic insecurity with children, which would you choose. If you would choose your children, doesn't it makes sense to encourage others to do the same?

I'm not suggesting anyone get on government assistance programs (other than the tax benefits which are substantial). I'm just pointing out that they are there. And I don't share your pessimism that they are going away for three reasons:

1. Republicans could never repeal Snap and medicaid. Right now they're not even talking about it. Some of them want to raise the social security age, and even that is a big "gotchya" issue as voters don't want it.

2. Republicans talk a big game about cutting spending, but when in office they just increase spending just like the Democrats do

3. Republicans have been getting their butts kicked in elections. We're in a weird place where poll after poll indicates that everyone is fed up with the Democrats, but in practice no one actually flips red

It's important to note that my family is not well off, at least compared to the average American household. My dream is to one day get our household income into the top half of the distribution, but that's something I haven't been able to achieve during a 14 year career.

I completely agree with you that articles like mine won't change someone's mind. But I don't think it's because there's something wrong with my approach. It's my reach that is lacking, not my message. I think young people are smart enough to understand that something is off kilter in the modern world. That somehow the conventional wisdom doesn't lead to joy and flourishing, but to an empty life of overwhelm, frustration, and disappointment. I think many of them are ready to ditch the conventional wisdom of focusing on your career, practicing self care, and actualizing themselves. I think many of them are ready to make sacrifices to make the world a better place if they are given a compelling vision.

But even if I couldn't change anyone's mind, I would still try, because it's the right thing to do. It's not loving to hold back the advice someone needs to hear in favor of giving them the advice they want to hear (even if the latter would make me more money on the internet).

Also, it's interesting that you frame this as a life and death issue. Literally, life is at stake. But it's having kids that creates life.

There's no serious risk of death from having kids. The biggest one is the one you mentioned, dying in childbirth. But for the vast majority of women, that risk is much, MUCH lower than having a career. That's because most women drive to work and you are FAR more likely to be killed in an automobile accident than in childbirth. But the risk of both is so low that countless women have chosen to have multiple children AND a career where the drive to work and they've been fine. When considering life's most important issues, there are always going to be risks, but we shouldn't blow them out of proportion